Pinch Me

So, the original purpose of this blog has been to use it as some sort of in-depth timeline. I admit that I’ve been lacking with keeping it updated step-by-step, but It seems that the healthier I am, the less I require the comforts of my theraputic blogging ways. However, there have been recent developments in my life that are significant to be recorded.

Me and Scott have made the decision to legally express the comittment we’ve had for eachother for the longest time, meaning:

When I go to visit in July, we are getting married.

I really don’t know what to say other than that, to be honest. You’d think that I would have some divine, inspirational words right now but I’m at a loss.

I feel extremely fortunate and lucky to have found such a devoted, patient, loving individual to call my husband, but truhtfully, I’ve always felt that way about Scott. He’s always been the one that I want in my life forever, and he will continue to be that person. Even if we were to fail and go our seperate ways, whomever I would end up with in the future would have to deal with remnits of him that are so deeply imprinted into who I am that I barely notice anymore.

A month ago, marriage was the farthest thing in my mind. And even now, it seems surreal. Obviously, we had talked about it countless times before but it was always something that was going to take place in the distant future. Now, it’s staring me right in the face and all I can do is smile.

When I told my parents, I stressed the fact that my relationship was no going ot change at all. There was no new level of comittment that I had not already made that was going to be offered, but at the same time there is a certain element that comes with getting married that wasn’t there before. Society is going to recognize us as couple on every term, and I suddenly see an even more solidified future than I did before.

I think that we’re both staying as cool and collected about it as we can, but we’re both kind of… excited about the whole process. We’re excited about being seen as something permanent and serious in the eyes of others, and we’re also excited about taking this first step in the long, fulfilling life we’re going to have together.

I can assure you that out of all the emotions and throughts traveling out of my heart and through my mind, doubt is not one of them. Over the course of the past few months I have found and embraced a certain confidence in myself that I was lacking before. I feel so comfortable in my own skin and in my own thoughts, and it’s allowed me to finally make the decision that I’ve been needing to make and say the things that I’ve needed to see.

I plan on respecting, cherishing, and adoring this man for the rest of my life. I am making the decision to legally bond myself to him, and do not find even slightest spec of nervousness in myself. If we’ve made it this far, I have no doubt that we’ll make it through the rest of.. forever. Pretty and Ugly, Good and Bad, Slow and Fast, I’m with him. I want to be with him.